Outsider's Perspective: First Meeting With My Conversation Partner

Jose and I started off our meeting with basic small talk—our interests, what we studied in school, how we liked TCU, etc. While these are just basic civilities, it is interesting to me that these can be so standard cross-culturally. Everyone enjoys having fun, has friends or family that they are close to and want to talk about, and have interests that they want to pursue and excel in. I really like the idea that all people can connect on this basic level no matter how different they are. All humans can connect by simply being human.

When Jose and I started discussing how we liked TCU we quickly transitioned into discussing how he liked the United States in general. I asked him what the biggest difference between here and Venezuela, his home country, and he didn’t even need five seconds to formulate a response. He said that the people here were much less friendly. He told me one of the toughest habits to break was kissing girls on the cheek in greeting. He accidently did it a couple of times and the girls were alarmed. He also said that it is much easier to make friends quickly in Venezuela. You can meet a person one day, and go to a party with them later that night. This was interesting to me because I think one of the greatest things about TCU is the friendliness of the campus.  But I guess I can see how there is a lot of pomp and circumstance in meeting friends in the US. You have to talk with them a couple of times, get their phone number, then do the awkward are-we-close enough-to-hang-out dance. Then when you finally do hang out, what’s appropriate to do? I can see how this would be frustrating for someone who is not used to these customs. It’s frankly frustrating for me too, I just never realized it could be any other way. That just goes to show you that you can’t assume what is the truth to you is the truth for everyone. The “truth” of how life works is all about perspective.  It is also difficult to see details of your life when you’re living it. Sometimes you have to step outside your life and look at it as an objective observer. What you see may be completely different.

I next asked him why his family moved to the US. He told me that they moved to the US for security from the social and economic unrest in Venezuela.  The current president has caused a lot of problems in this regard. Apparently the president is a very compelling speaker, but when it comes to implementing programs helpful to the country, he has not done a good job. He then compared his president to Obama. This surprised me.  I had never thought of comparing the leader of our country to the leader of a country with so much unrest.

Jose then outlined the programs that Chavez has implemented that have been problematic. Chavez is possessing private companies and giving them to the poor, and then not equipping the poor with the education to run the company. They, therefore, end up running them into the ground. Jose was appalled by this program and was using it as an example of what a misguided person the president was. As he was telling me this I wondered if the program originally had good intentions, but then went awry in its implementation. When I asked Jose if this was the case he looked surprised and quickly answered no. This is again brought home the idea that perspectives from the outside are different from those inside.  We both got a glance of an outsider’s view of our own culture and what we saw surprised us.

I think that it is good to have these outside snapshots. It rocks your world just enough for you to give it a second glance. Reevaluating your surroundings is important. It can either completely alter your ideas, or can confirm what you’ve believed along. But either way, it is important to have a firm stance and know why you believe what you do. Hearing other people’s perspectives can help you do that.